Whenever I say February, I always think FebruANY, like the Subway slogan you know? Well I have been a busy busy busy busy bee lately. And that's how we stay happy and healthy anyway! So HOLY SHIZ I stopped nursing. It was a big deal...because it was hard for both of us. I tried to slowly wean him, and honestly its the way I'm going to do it every time. I didn't know that was the way to do it but, it was a painless unemotional (well mostly) weaning. Nobody talks about nursing pre-parenting. And it just hits you like a freight train. Massive swollen chest, nips from burning H*ll and you might as well not even wear a shirt the first 10 days after delivery due to constant eating from your newly emerged little person. But then it becomes something you both benefit from. Its a moment where you sit down together and look at each other and one gets a full tummy and the other gets a break from life and a chance to remember why you love this little person that depends on you for their life. For me personally I started slowing down around 10 months with intentions of ending around his 1 year mark. But, when 1 year came, neither of us were ready. He wanted to nurse all the time, and I tried to stop a few times but emotionally caved. Then we were at 16 months all the sudden...and I realized man, maybe he would stop waking up in the night if we took away that option of breastfeeding. And really I was only nursing him roughly 1-2 times every 24 hours, so it was a slow slow progression. We started with a nap bottle, then 3 months later a night bottle. So...we stopped and had no pain in the chesties, and not much fight from the baby.
I just realized some of you don't give a cahooty about boobs and breastfeeding, but ... its whats happening in my brain and heart and soul right now, so endure through my motherhood spill.
Anyway, so we did it, and I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for Brad's motivation. He FINALLY started getting up with him in the night, and has ever since, and guess what now 80% of the time he sleeps through the night, and if he wakes up, we give him teething tablets and then he goes right back to sleep. By we, I mean Brad, because the first night I didn't nurse him, I went to get up and Brad clotheslined me with his arm and said, "No, I'll go." Then I knew it was really over. He pulled and still pulls on my shirt when he is hungry, but then I say, "Want some food?" And he says, "Ya!" Then he runs to the kitchen, so its easily re-directed. Except the other day, he got hurt and was hungry, and he pulled on my shirt and I said, "No more milkies-remember you are a big boy now." Then he was so sad and cried so hard, and it hurt my heart. But seriously I cannot nurse him till he is 2. Because honestly he would just nurse for like 5 minutes then cuddle with me. I was seriously scared he wouldn't cuddle with me anymore, but I think my fears of that are over, because he comes over to me all day long and climbs up on my lap, gives me a hug, pats my back, gives me an open mouthed tongue kiss, then jumps down and his on his way back to playing/destroying our house.
Enough about boobs. We seriously are busy, and I have a love/hate with it. I play basketball right now with the stake-which I really wanted Lubbock to have basketball, so I just went to the top and got it put together, and its a blast! And I am also playing with Brad's Med School Co-ed team, which is kinda weird and I feel super out of place, because I'm a mom and 25, and they are all like 22 and have no clue what to talk to me about. Last game a kid asked me how long my labor was....A normal single guy would never ask a girl that, but since they are med students and not fellow moms, they don't ask me what words my baby is saying, but yet....."Did you have an episiotomy" is a normal question for them to ask a post pregnant lady.
I also teach Yoga for our relief society and anyone else who wants to come, at the church once a week. Then I have preschool 2ce a week, then of course Brad and I are Primary teachers as well. And soccer starts on Monday. Oh and I have been cleaning for this girl in our ward for $$ and that has been a weekly thing as well. Brad has church ball, and intramural ball, and med school, and he also has the job of being a good husband and dad. So we are just a busy family. But last week I had a melt down. Just a melt down. Then I swear I have angels.....because right then it hit me that man....I have an amazing husband who loves me and an amazing life that most people never have the chance to have. So I needed to stop, stop stressing about money, stop whining about my husband being gone, and CHANGE my attitude. And I did. And I have. I am still a normal person, I'm not like fake perma smile (you know those people are going crack at any moment) but I have changed my attitude. I am not sad that Brad is gone everyday including weekends until 10 pm studying his bum off, instead I make the most of my time with him and stay busy when he is gone. And even then I just seriously had a transformation, which is really what I needed for my stress ness. And we just made some decisions that will help my stress level and I am just a happier person. Why did it take me this long to realize it?
And on that note, Miles and I have been having so much fun. Just yesterday when I tried on 3 different pants that were all high waters on him, I finally settled on the least amount of high water pants.. it hit me, he is so big. He is so grown up. I tell him to throw away his own diapers now. What?!!! This is a whole new level of motherhood. He has so much personality. He is so feisty. Today was so warm and Brad was studying at the library, so we met him at a nice park nearby him and we played and ate dinner there, and we were going back to the car, and Miles was NOT done at the park, so Brad grabbed his hand and said, "Ok let's go bubye." Miles immediately dropped to the floor on his bum. So Brad tried to pick him up and Miles wound up both his arms back and double smacked Brad in the face. This is his classic move when he is mad. I wouldn't let him have my phone in Costco today, so he double slapped me as I was trying to tell him no no, we are going to go to the car. He doesn't blood curdle scream, but yet just hit you. So we are working on it still. Today I was babysitting and giving all the kids horsey rides, and William (his friend who is his same age) was on my back, and Miles came up to him and grabbed his hair with both hands and pulled it so he pulled his head off. I was in a tough spot because William was on my back, Miles was pulling him off, I couldn't grab William without Miles ripping his hair out, and so I just kept saying, "LET GO MILES" He wouldn't let go so I just flipped William off my back, swept Miles up and put his face in mine and said, "WE DO NOT PULL HAIR!" NOT NICE! Then put him in his crib. I held William and kissed his battle wounds. Then went and got Miles out who was standing in his crib with a sad face. Then he hugged me and kissed me, and we went and hugged and kissed William. And we also soft petted his hair several times.
He also can be really nice on that note. He is good at sharing with other kids even when I wish he wouldn't offer them his sucker. When somebody takes his toy, he usually just looks at them for awhile then goes on his way. When he sees a friend that he plays with he usually yells and runs and starts talking jibberish to them and gets so excited and kinda crouches down and says, "Hiiiiiiiiya" Then goes up to them and pats them several times. He loves playing with older kids, he follows them around and laughs when they jump off of our couch onto the love sac. And he does the funniest thing when they aren't looking at him, he goes up to them and bends down tries to get them to make eye contact with him, then once they see him he says some jibberish with 'yep' mixed in and goes on his way.
He loves fire trucks (PS I just keep going because I am waiting for my pictures to upload...which may never happen because its frozen...yuck) and he says WEEEoh WEEoh and we seem to always see fire trucks and ambulances when we are driving, even once in the middle of the night when I was nursing we heard one and he stopped nursing, looked at me half asleep and said, "wee oh wee oh". Anyway he loves them, and is so star struck when he sees them, so I told Brad, when is the next time we can get him a fire truck that makes the sound and lights up? We decided Easter. Then I was walking around Target and I found a nice expensive one, I called Brad (because I think of any excuse to call him when he is studying and sometimes he even says -Brit don't call me about that, just text- I should respond to him, You have no idea how much I wish you were home right now so I could eat cereal on the couch with you while we watch Miles throw the ball at our faces 100 MPH-) anyway I called Brad and I said, "How's Valentines for the fire truck?" Then we knew we started something great...gifts for our children on valentines as well as each other....this is going to get pricey. Anyway, Miles loved his fire truck. Brad told me we were going to go to sushi (my fav) and so he said we weren't getting each other expensive gifts. And, he said he had bought my gift so don't look at the bank online statements, he said he spent $12.00. So I framed a poster of Pink Floyd which I got him forever ago and we have hung it on the wall with teacher tack. I thought he would get mad at me for spending 30 on him. So that was a thoughtful med school budget gift.
He didn't tell the truth.
Flights were super cheap to Utah 2 days before Valentines and I really wanted to go for end of May beginning of June to see my brother's graduation and just hang out with my family. I called and texted him asking him if I could book, because we had this plan that I was going to go early so he could study for his big test. He kept saying we would talk when he got home. Okay then.
He came home from school early and I asked him about booking right away. He kept saying he was starving and wanted to eat right away. He kept asking me to please heat up the food. I went to the fridge opened it and found a toy boat that said, June 8th....
Cruise. I ran to him kissed him and said, where are we going!! Thank you! Love you!
Then the feelings rushed in....Miles, money....etc.
He worked it all out with help from our family. So again, no stress. Then I felt stupid for my gift.
We are going to drive to Galveston, TX, then cruise to Cozumel Mexico, Belize, and Honduras.
Brad served his mission in Honduras and we wanted to go back for the temple dedication, but that didn't happen so now we are just going to be on the coast, but it will be fun anyway to say he went back. Leaving Miles is going to be hard, and he will probably have to do some serious convincing to get me to not just bring him last second. But this will be good for us, and this break will be much needed after this year of medical school. And it will be right after his big test which helps decide what kind of doctor he can be. He wants to do orthopedic surgery, so he needs to do well on the test to be competitive in residencies, come application for residency time. So, he started studying for it what seems like forever ago, but probably beginning of last summer. And studies every day for it. I think I have said this on my blog before, but geez it just is a big part of our life right now. And I have confidence and faith he will be the doctor he is supposed to be, so I know the Lord will guide us in that department so I don't stress about that, I just stress about his stress. If that makes sense. Anyway it will be a much needed vacation. And I won't be pregnant or nursing, which is probably not going to last long! Our trip to Cancun before med school I was 5 months preggers. Which was still amazing and fun and the perfect time to go because I was still super mobile and had no symptoms other than swelling-notha story.
He also got us couples massages. Because my back has been hurting a lot lately. We will go later and its going to be hilarious on so many levels. But so thoughtful of him. He walked away the winner for that holiday gift giving.
Well...if you read this I'm picture free for now, because something bad happened in the upload, so I will post and add pics laters.
Valentine's Day was a romantic fun time. We had our friends babysit and we went to a sushi steakhouse, and then walked around Costco, then had Pie bar for dessert. We laughed as I sat on his lap in the one seater chair to take a picture of us together. We knew people probably thought we were so high school, but we had a romantic blast.
Ta ta. Literally...because most of this post was about breastfeeding. Gross.... I'm being gross. Its late. Good night.