Monday, March 5, 2012

The Pregnant News

I apologize for my uncreative, surprisingly annoying way of telling my blog followers I am pregnant. I know, it was lame, and I should be punished for it. Trust me I have been punished. I have decided to make a list of things to know for people thinking about getting pregnant. Take this seriously.

1. When you eat, if you can eat, you will puke.
2. After you puke, you will rinse your mouth then try to drink some water, prepare to puke the water.
3. Your teeth will be chalky from stomach acid.
4. Your throat will be sore from chunks getting stuck.
5. You will try the advice of Ginger Ale, Saltines, but those don't make you feel better, you still puke.
6. You can only take Tylenol, so if you have multi-cold, prepare to just be miserable.
7. You are going to feel bloated.
8. All the foods you once ate, you won't eat.
9. A food will sound good, you will go out of your way to order it, or drive far to get it, then to find out...it looks disgusting after all.
10. Everything stinks, therefore can trigger throw up.
11. Your husband may become the smelliest human on earth all the sudden.
12. You really become good at finding out what stretchy clothes you have, and comboing them together.
13. Crying has to be a must, because after you puke your guts out all day, crying is all you know how to do.
14. It really is the best thing in the world to hear your husband say, "Goodnight Baby."

Now that you are well versed in what the first 12 weeks will be like....you are only 1/32423542 prepared to be pregnant.

Sally makes me mad, she keeps saying, oh it has to be so much better than cramps.
I'll shove that down your throat Sally when you are pregnant. I would take back cramps in a heart beat.

Oh and all you women who say, "Oh I wasn't sick one day of my pregnancy." I hate you. Really I hate you. And you have no excuse for not having 3210948092384 children. Unless of course you are unable to afford, handle or numerous other reasons.

On the flip side, it has brought Brad and I closer together. We are realizing the bigger picture, what really matters. We don't care what people think. We are so happy, except for when he eats fatty foods, and pickles, I can really smell those on him for days, and I have a hard time being around him without gagging. But other than that we are happy.

I'm at 13 weeks now, and I was supposed to have a 12 week appointment but I have one in a week, and I will ask for the Zofran if I am still on this throw up every meal routine. Hopefully I am closing towards the end though...I've said that for 3 weeks now.....

If you as a previously pregnant person have any other random crazy advice of how to avoid the pukes let me know.

Don't even ask Brad and I our baby names, chances are, we won't tell you, because we don't know.
I have typed up my week to week thoughts. Those will be soon to come.

My due date is Sept 15, 4 weeks after my sister Summer, my sister Tosha just had a baby, so there will be 3 babies in one year. That has to be something for my mom.
Yay for being pregnant!

4 comments:

Erica+Matson said...

You're so funny! I hope you get feeling better sooN!!

Karissa said...

I am SO excited for you guys!!!! Being parents is oh so much fun. A little work too, but the benefits outweigh the negatives. Good luck with throwing up. I wasn't ever really terribly sick when pregnant, but I have A LOT of friends who were, and my sister in law threw up all day, every day, for 9 months. So not fun! I will add, with her second baby (a girl, the first was a boy), she wasn't nearly as sick! Something to hope for??? :-) Good luck! I'm rooting for ya!

Brad said...

I smell bad????

Natalie said...

Hahaha I love Brad's comment.
I'm glad your pregnant because you'll be adorable parents.
I'm not glad that you're so pukey :(
I'm sorry!! It'll all be worth it, right?

You're a doll. And you'll soon have your own doll. Good luck! I'll keep you in my prayers!