B Y U

Seriously. Police Beat. This is the 'crime' that goes on around campus. Let me include my favorites. From today's Daily Universe.

DISORDERLY CONDUCT
A white male wearing only blue and yellow spandex shorts was reported running into cars to scare the occupants at 11PM. He was gone when police arrived.

Oh no, everyone be on the lookout for a man wearing 'only' spandex. He not only is scaring innocent people, but he is breaking the honor code with those spandex of his. That's the biggest violation here.

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF
The body of the cougar statue at LaVEll Edwards Stadium was found sprayed with the phrase "Rent Me" in shaving cream. The eyes were filled with the cream, too.

This one makes you wonder if I made that up, no that is a direct quote from the Daily Universe.
The best part is "The eyes were filled with the cream, too. IS that really going to make it sound like it was a criminal act. ooooohhhwwww the eyes were filled with cream, how criminal of that person.

A female student reported her bumper sticker missing from her vehicle parked in lot 2 that read "Pro Family, Pro Obama"

Okay guys, we told you what lot it was, just in case you saw them and have an idea of what they looked like so we can confine these guys, they are dangerous-Police (No police, they are smart, very smart)

THEFT
(this one boggles my mind)
A male student reported his motocycle stolen from the SABuilding. He said he found another male in the parking lot with his motorcycle. He said the suspect claimed to have received permission from police to take the "abandoned" bike. The case is currently open for investigation.

"Hey man, thats my bike"-Man with ownership of motorcycle
"Oh Im supposed to take it because its abandoned"-Man stealing motorcycle.
"Oh totally cool, okay see ya"-Man watching his cycle be stolen.

If someone is stealing my motorcycle, I say, Thats mine, and you better give it back now.
If they claim to be police, I then ask to see their 'badge' If they do not have a badge then I grab them throw them down and take my cycle back.

That's all.

ALCOHOL OFFENSE
A man drinking a bottle of rum in the HFAC was not found by Police.


So he's out there somewhere? Oh no, he's dangerous, thanks for warning me.



I am not making fun. Not really.