Sunday, February 24, 2013

In the Middle

In the middle of my lovely tribute to my siblings I better give an update, because you are getting 16 days of siblings, and you know you can't miss out on the life of Brad Brit and Miles...
you may have noticed my new blog was time.
Today I have a strange desire to say Ya'll after everything.
What is Texas doing to me?
Its turning me into a new person.
Let me explain. 
New things that have happened to me since moving here:
1. I'm a mom.
2. I have stretch marks.
3. In this period of time I have set a record for myself for most friends made in such a short amount of time.
4. I'm a wife of a med student.
5. I go to playgroup? 
6. I am not working 2-3 jobs and going to school.
7. I am not going to school?
8. I have started a preschool with my fellow med student wife Carissa.
9. I'm a better cook. (Who knew being home all day and trying new things could help a sista out?)
10. I am lonely for my family. (This really has never happened to me- I am usually smothered by siblings- I mean that in the best happiest way possible.)

So that's just to name a few.
And to think my life is peaches and just laughable.
I know I have mentioned some hardship on here, and I realize its different than other peoples hardships which makes it difficult to understand, but its my little trial right now, and I'm working on it.
Brad told me yesterday that he doesn't think 'girls' can handle things very well.
Before I got super offended at that sexist comment (I'm not a really sexist person-I am a firm believer than men do things better than women-or maybe its just they do things more willingly than I would ever want to do it-not necessarily better) I said, "You need to explain Mr. Sexist."
He then said, "Well I am not really attached to people like you are."
That statement also sounded really I let him explain.
Heartless, Sexist Brad: "Well you just are so emotionally attached to everything and everyone, which isn't a bad thing. I don't have to talk to my family everyday and I don't have to have close relationships with anyone but you and Miles."
Phew, redeemed himself.
I then told him something I have told him 5000 times.
Brad this is hard for me.....let me tell you what happened to me all in 1 months time:
1. I moved away from Utah where I have LIVED my entire life. (My house was in Utah, I went to school in Idaho-so I claim Idaho as well granted that my house was 1.5 miles from the border).
2. I quit my dream job of teaching Kindergarten and became straight up unemployed, which I haven't been for over 6 years.
3. I moved to it here but lets just say its not glam and bam bam.
4. I left my family and friends and moved here not knowing a soul.
5. I had a baby.

And I joke and say, "Now any ONE of those things is enough to put someone in therapy."
And I got all of them friends.
Bam Bam.
And I knew this was coming, and I had no idea how to prepare for it, and it is a daily constant struggle, and it may not be any all of those things but maybe just one facet of one element.
Now I am finally here to admit that I lost my wedding ring, and I think that has been the main thing lately adding to my discouragement. 
Didn't help that I was going through pictures today and kept finding ones like this.
I just cry thinking too much about it.
My ring is so special to me.
Its not just one you pick outta the mix.

I drew it in my Children's Literature class on a notebook paper.
I took it in to the Jewelers.
And they took the drawing and turned it into a wax mold.
They took that wax mold and turned it into 49 diamonds and white gold.
I didn't see the finished product till Brad opened the ring box.
I'm a sentimental person.
And this has been a really hard thing for me.
Some days I will just be crying while cleaning or taking care of Miles and Brad will see me and just say, "Your ring?"
I will nod and we will go about our business without saying anymore.

As my tears stream down my face I just miss it. I just want it on my finger again.
My mom told me that I am still married, so its okay.
Brad tells me, "Lots of people lose their rings Brit."
I know these things, but on top of all the wonderful things in my life, my ring was one of my favorite things.
Phew, it has been missing since November. But I haven't been able to admit it.
Now I'm thinking its gone.
I have lots of theories.
But I know there are worse things in life, so as I look at my Miles and my Brad I cannot help but forget it and be happy.
This has been an overly personal post. I didn't mean for it to turn that way.
This little he is a heartbreaker.
This was a picture I took before church today, and the last picture I took before...
my Iphone memory told me it was completely full.
Yes that means I have taken 1,080 pictures since November. 
Some of those are pretty long videos as well....

I should have got the biggest GB out there. Who knew having a baby would turn me into a picture taking psycho.  Well I already was....but that just magnified it.
Now enough about me...well actually this is my blog so it can be all about me if I want it to be....
but Brad has a test tomorrow. Its been the first Monday test he has taken and its been interesting. He has just been studying his little bum off, and he has no weekend to rest from it...usually he has Friday tests, but somehow they decided to slip in a Monday test...
I have been just doing Mom things, and I took a Kindergarten sub job on Friday and LOVED it..much better than High school. Bless the high school teachers out there. Man I love little kids.
It made me miss my little friends.
Little latino girl: Mrs. Clark, if we are all God's children than Laquisha is my sister. (strongest Tx accent)
Laquisha is a fellow student in the class, and she is black.
Me: Yes dear, that must be true in fact.
Little latino girl: mmmmm hmmmm yes ma'm it is.

Love them. I was at a school for the deaf. It was like a deaf immersion school. And man it made me want to learn sign language. That is my next goal in life. Those precious little friends.
(Taken today while Brad was studying, and we needed a dad visit)

And an update on Mr. Miles, he has just been drooling, chewing on everything and anything in sight, and getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth till he catapults forward or spastically rolls over.
He also has started eating serious solids like sweet potatoes and corn. LOVES THEM.
So much more than rice cereal, he wasn't a real fan even though he was eating it a little, probably just because it was food, but now its like I have opened him up to a whole new world with these sweet potatoes. Now I'm on to conquer making my own baby food, and to buy a high chair. Here we go.

He also loves his daddy, so much. He lights up and smiles and kicks and thrusts his arms when Brad walks in the room or he hears his voice. He can listen to Brad play his guitar or piano for so long, like over an hour without making a peep, just staring at him. 

He mostly only does it about the 1st 20 seconds....don't worry Brad lets him chew on pillows....?
Whatever keeps him happy.
Well we are blessed to have a smart Brad, and a happy healthy babe and to live among good people here in Texas. And I'm out. 
 (Side note, I love his hair right now.....its got that beach may not be blonde and he may be freckled, but its everything a girl needs this hair is....)

P.S. Brad has convinced me to do insanity with our living room. What starts as Brittany fully dressed has ended with Brittany in spandex and my sports bra. Its that hard guys.
When these ripped people are doing it on camera and they stop and take know its okay to take your clothes off. It's a lot of jumping for these nursing jugs though. Someday they will shrink up again. Whew here I go with personal again, well if you made it to the bottom of this you deserve to know this personal jarbo.
Now I feel like I have tried to end this post 20 times but I keep thinking of things to write. It's like a scrap of journal page here. 
Did I mention I have a journal, and a Miles journal, and a Miles baby book, and this blog.
Did I mention I love to write? Did I mention I have started a total of 15 or so books.....and have a page of about 50 ideas for books? 
Writing....I like it.
Well I think its time to cut the cord.
That means stop.
So good night, and maybe I can unmute the oscars....but probably not because Brad is studying.....
Falcon Med Student Wife is over and out.


Justin and Carissa said...

Not sure whether to be excited or not that the test got canceled. Lovin the personals... : )

Erica Tanner said...

I wanna help you find your ring!! K...question time. Where did you last see it? haha. seriously though.

Natalie said...

I looove that vid of little miles rocking out!
I have done insanity a few different times. It's awesome. I got so buff and lost 18 pounds. But it's super hard and now I have a sore hip from all the squats. Good luck! :) haha