Friday, October 16, 2009

While I was there.

While I was in Peru, A lot of interesting things happened to me. Things that I don't feel the need to discuss in deep detail. But I know that these things have forever shaped who I am, and my testimony. I guess I can't get some of it out of my mind lately. I thought a good way to express it would be through my blog.

I mean, I have a great husband, but he knows the story, hes heard it many times, and surprisingly even references back to my Peru experiences sometimes.

But sometimes, writing helps me understand what happened to me.

And in all my turmoil and four tests and confusion this week. I keep feeling detached to anything going on here....and thinking of real struggles that I encountered in Peru.

Things that changed my life forever.

Things that made me look at myself in the mirror and be grateful for the prayers for me by those at home.

Grateful that I had a home. And a family, that no matter how much garbage went on, no matter how many lies were told, no matter how many divorces happened, no matter how much tragedy, I had a family who loved me. I had parents that focused their attention on me, and trusted me when I told them "Im going to Peru".

I wasn't alone when I was in Peru, I had the volunteers, the orphans, the host family, and many many others thinking about me. But this little guy, he maybe had a few people who cared about him. A handful. If he got hurt, he maybe had somebody acknowledge it, but me if I get hurt, I have the prayers of anyone I ask, and don't ask. I have hundreds of caring people around me who would probably help me out.

So thinking about worldly items that I have compared to the Peruvians. . . I also have been thinking about friendships, connections, opportunities, and lifestyle I have compared to Peruvians. (This is with the exception of some Peruvians). But in this city, there were very few that had left the city itself their entire life, due to lack of funds. I guess money is the main aspect network is so much stronger, and I want to give what I have to someone back there.

But if I did, would they know what to do with it. Because to them, life is day to day. But to me, its worry about the future constantly because there are thousands of opportunities awaiting me, but to them, the crop is awaiting them, or the next 50 dollars a month they make.. . if that.
So today, as I prepare for my tests, I guess I consider myself grateful that I have the opportunity to take tests, and to be here at BYU, and most importantly that I have a chance to travel, experience, and make my own decisions with the world at my hands, the world at my possibility.

Writing this post makes me want to be a teacher in some far away Africa, while Brad takes his profession there as a doctor, we could just go on a service expedition.

But there I go again, not living in the moment. Not living in today.

I guess I should study, and stop thinking about Peru.


Raimo and Jessica Laitinen said...

That was inspiring and uplifting

Robnz Fam said...

What? How do you know Jessica Laitinen? This world is getting smaller for you and I! I got on here to write a comment, let you know I started up a blog again,, and then I saw this comment from Jessica! She is in my ward too! Crazyiness...

Thanks for the reminder of how lucky and blessed we truly are. How often I take that for granted!

-Cuz Carrol