Thursday, July 22, 2010

How to Make a Delicious Artisan Sandwich: Perfect, Yes.

I'm guessing none of you know how to make a sandwich. That is where I come in with my how to guide. I will teach you things you have never seen before. Things obviously you cannot learn from your mom. You think everybody learns how to clean ceiling fans and make sandwiches from their mom? You are wrong wrong wrong, just because your mom was superwoman, some of our moms had better things to do then teach us the basics. That's where I come in teaching you the basics.
To make this gourmet sandwich you will need..

Cream Cheese.
Chreame Cheese. That's what it should be.
Artisan Bread. So delicious and scrumptious.  
If you don't have this...it won't be the same so don't even try...(joke)
Oh Deli Cuts. Deli Cuts.  Heart Smart Deli Cuts...so wonderful. So thin, and so cheap.
I always buy the meat on sale and its usually Deli Cuts...wonder why?
 Except at Costco I buy the expensive deliciously wonderful meat.

That's right Economy Hot Pepper from Gossners in Logan. .68 cents for almost a pound of cheese. 1/pound, thats a good deal. We bought about a 3 month supply. So good. We need to get back to that cheese factory. So basically this is pepper-jack cheese, and its not that hot. Perfect for our artisan sandwich.
Briannas' Poppyseed dressing.
Can't live without it. Perfect for sandwiches. 
Yellow Squash. Perfect yellow squash from my mother-in-laws garden..our garden was overrun with quack grass. I couldn't control it. I couldn't do it.
Let's get this sandwich started. Kinda like, let's get this party started...same thing...same party. 
Slice the bread in half....and...

Apply chreame cheese not evenly, just everywhere, everywhere you want.
Add poppy seed dressing over the chreame cheese. Lightly but make sure you can see those seeds.
Then slice your deli cuts. Slice them perfectly like this.
Slice your meat.
Slice your squash. Obviously I never use the right knife for anything. I'm a conservationist. I use the knife to cut the bread, same knife to slice the meat, same knife to slice the squash. Therefore the lines in the squash are from a bread knife..that's what I'm getting at here. That's what I'm trying to say, THERE ARE LINES IN THE SQUASH I USED THE WRONG KNIFE!

Slice your cheese, preferably with the same knife, we are conservative here.
Apply the ingredients. Starting with the meat. Heavy, but not too heavy, the meat is what gives the  meat.
Add your squash. My grandpa and dad say sqarsh. It's funny. Or maybe its an old joke. That we don't think is funny we just ignore it when they say it...you know those kinds of jokes?
Apply the cheese on the meat side, cuz you want your sqarsh to get cooked and crispy, meat doesn't need to be cooked, just roasted.
You may need a spatuala to pick them up and transfer to your cooking panel. (Panel? Is that even a real term in cooking....I'm pretending like it is.) You can use your stove on 400, or you can use your toaster oven like me...I got this for Brad for his Vday present...it was a makeup VDAY present because I failed on the first one. FAILED.
Turn it for a few minutes...less than ten more than five kinda thing.
Watch it swelter and welter in there. Not for too long...do your dishes (oh wait you only have a dirty knife from this meal...) So do your laundry, oh wait you already got it done because this meal only took 10 minutes to cook and prepare. So clean your floors, oh wait..you get the jiff.
So times up! Look at these bad boys.
Melted cheese, cooked sqarsh. Kinda crispy. 
Wait, its not over.

You're going to need green onions and scissors. 
Real bad you need them.
Scissor them on there. If you want them to be less oniony then you can cook them, I like the crunch they give uncooked...so you decide.
Flip that sandwich over. And behold your masterpiece. Looks gourmet doesn't it? Looks professh. Like some professh guy did it. Nope. Just a ten minute sandy.
Then cut it, with that all purpose knife we have been using throughout this entire journey. This is the best journey I'm so sorry that it is over. But I got to get this sandwich in my mouth.
Taste it and love it.

1 comment:

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