DOYa want a Doula?

*A lot of Baby/Mama talk in this post. Sorry if you.......aren't into it. But lately, its all I'm into.

In preparing for baby M, I am ALMOST done with his room. If he comes before I am done, then.....I dont know what I will do. Put him back in! No, please come baby M, at anytime. I packed your hospital bag/diaper bag last night, which by the way, your Grandma (Brad's Mom) made for you. And she really loves you so its really cute, too cute to get dirty, but I'm ready for you to be here, I just don't know if I am ready to get you here in the way I am supposed to get you here. (Between the legs pushing)

The outside fabric is adorable and totally neutral for Baby M's sister who better come next! (In 5 years as of right now asking 9 months pregnant Brittany)

The inside is vinyl which is great for spills and cleaning. And it has lots of nice pockets.

Oh my little. Put your cute bum in this baby M.

I really don't know what I need at the hospital and don't laugh but I have googled 'what to bring to the hospital when having a baby' Also I have asked lots of people and found some good things on pinterest. But if you have a must have that you had or didn't have and I need to have, please tell me, I am a desperate person right now.

It has a nice back zipper pocket, inside yes...vinyl. 

Nice inside pockets.

And these magnetic snaps which I put in myself!! Rachelle was curious to why I wanted them so bad, but they are just fantastic, no messing around finding the clip or hook or whatever, just walah! It snaps.

Nice outer pockets, and so durable :)

Now that we have had the diaper bag tour, let's get down to real business.

My doctor and doula.

My doctor said he was almost on the positive side of neutral for a doula, which means he isn't opposed. And I may be opposed after I experience one, I don't know. Now I went over my birth plan with her, which I didn't think I had a birth plan but apparently I do because I knew all the answers to the questions! Do you want to be cut or tear naturally? What??? Cut me, so it isn't all jagged and torn and horrid. That was easy, what else???

In the case of a c-section, who would you like to come in the room....uh Brad of course.

Not tough questions at all!

She was very nice and will be a support that will be nice to have as I go through this experience with no family near by. My mom is coming but what if I go into birth without her here, and Brad is a med student so that means he goes into med student mode whenever on campus, and did I mention I am having the baby on campus??

So I trust that he will love and support me during this but I also don't trust his curiosity and I'm guessing he will be side by side with the doctor instead of holding my hand coaching me. 

(No offense honey, I love that you are passionate, but this is just one of my reasons for a doula).

Now I did ask her, "What if I freak out and go into panic mode and don't want anyone in the room." 

She was very calm and said, "Now that is understandable and we will deal with that when it comes."

Meaning, what if you are driving me crazy and I want to be alone with Brad or something.......????

But from what I understand she will just be my 24/7 support and rub my feet/back, coach me with breathing and walking around and help me understand what is going on. 

I am putting this in writing but when you get back with me after birth we may have a different outlook on pain meds. I want to TRY to see how I handle it. Does that mean I am going to in no way look at the option of an epidural? No! It means I am going to walk into the hospital with an open mind and see if I can tolerate the pain for as long as possible. I know some people (you may be one, and that is fine) that walk into the hospital and say, "GIVE ME THE F*#&#&$* epidural.

Now that swear could have been anything so don't assume. Frigging. Freaking. I don't say the f-word, but sometimes I wish I did because it would be more entertaining or something... Tangent. 

So, I want to be open to the narcotics, you can give me those, but let's go easy with numbing my whole lower body for a minute, let's just feel this out, and maybe I don't want to feel it out.

If my labor is 32089472 hours, I want the epidural, I'm not trying to prove anything, except to myself. To see if I can actually tolerate labor pain. I want to know what it feels like to have a baby. There, I think that's it. Bottom line, I wanna know what a baby coming out of me feels like. Probably not so great, but I don't want to not know the rest of my life because my lower half is numb. And maybe you never want to know, and that is great. I am a curious person.

Now, I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow. We will see how he finds me.

His lingo is very different from mine.

I say, "My crotch is killing me."

He says, "Oh you have a lot of pelvic pressure."

I say, "It is itching and burning."

He says, "Oh you are experiencing discomfort."

I say, "I think I am over the normal weight gain."

He says, "Oh you look like you haven't gained excess weight in your legs and arms."

I say, "My boobs are really huge."

He says, "Your breasts will be enlarged, better for breastfeeding."

I say, "Well do you check to see if I am soft down there."

He says, "We will see if the cervix is favorable."

I say, "OH ITS FAVORABLE."

The lingo. Doctor appropriate lingo.